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better than spanking, yelling, and threatening children. Time out can be started
when your child shows signs of defiance, usually somewhere between 12 and 18
months of age.

For time-out to be effective, you must have time-in. Each parent should provide
their child with brief (no more than 2 or 3 seconds), nonverbal physical contact at
least 50 times each day. This can be scratching his back, messing up his hair, a
brief hug, gentle caressing while the child is watching television or looking out of

the window.

Preparations
1. Discuss with your spouse which behaviors will result in time-out. Start with

the behaviors that either annoy you the most or the ones that are
dangerous.

2. Place the playpen near where you will use it the most - a corner of the family
room near the kitchen would be a good place.

Procedure

1. Following the inappropriate behavior, say to your child, "No, don't

^ ." Say this calmly, without raising your voice, talking angrily,

or nagging. Carry her to the playpen without saying another word, with her
facing away from you so she does not mistake it for affection.

^ 2. After she is in the playpen, do not say a word, do not look at her, and do not
talk about her. After she has stopped crying and is relaxed, go to the
playpen, pick her up without saying a word and set her on the floor near
some of her toys. Do not reprimand her or mention what she did wrong.

« You do not need to lecture her and should try not to be angry. If she begins
crying when you walk toward her or as you pick her up, place her back in
the playpen and start over.

• 3. After each time-out, children should start out with a "clean slate". No
discussion, no nagging, threatening, or reminding is necessary. At the first
opportunity, look for and praise positive behaviors.

m Time Out: For Older Children

You can continue to use time-out for behaviors that you would like to change.

Here's how time-out works for older children:

1. Define the behavior you want to stop, and keep track of how frequently it
occurs. Discipline of any kind should be used only when your child is
intentionally doing something he knows is forbidden.

2. Warn him that if he continues to do this, he will be disciplined.
3. Identify a time-out area, preferably a room that's empty of toys, television, or
^ other attractions - in other words, one that's as boring as possible for the

child. If such a room isn't available, use a chair facing the wall in a hall or
unoccupied room.
4. When your child does something he knows will result in time-out, send him

^ immediately to the area you have selected, tell him why he is getting a time

out and tell him how long he has to stay there. One minute for each year of

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