Page 60 - GreenBook

feelings ("You feel angry because..."). By school age, temper tantrums should
be much less common. During adolescence, tantrums reappear, but your
teenager can be reminded that blowing up creates a bad impression and that
counting to ten can help him regain control.

The causes of temper tantrums are varied and your response, as a parent, is of
utmost importance. Common causes of tantrums include attention seeking,
boredom and frustration. Praise your child when he controls his temper, verbally
expresses his anger, and is cooperative. Be a good model by staying calm and
not screaming or having adult temper tantrums. Avoid spanking for tantrums
because it conveys to your child that you are out of control. Try using the
following responses;

1. Support and help children having frustration or fatigue related tantrums.

2. Ignore attention-seeking or demanding tantrums.

3. If necessary, physically move children having refusal type tantrums.

4. Use time-outs for publicly disruptive tantrums or violent tantrums. See

time-out section.

5. Hold children having harmful or rage type tantrums.

Since each child and parent is different you need to consider which approach
works best for you. You may call during office hours if you need advice or if your
child hurts himself or others during tantrums, the tantrums are occurring
frequently, are escalating, or if you have other concerns or questions.

C. Discipline r—1
All too often adults and children alike think of discipline as the same as
punishment. In fact to discipline means to teach or to instruct.

The most useful form of discipline, "instructing", is to explain to your child what it
is you would "yes" like him/her to do. If that does not achieve your goal then
distracting and redirecting your child's attention will often work.

For more serious behavior when the above has not worked and for which it is

important to change your child's behavior then Time Out is an effective
alternative. It is imperative however to remember to pick and choose those
behaviors that warrant making an issue over and to remember that the purpose
of discipline is to teach and not to control. Your child's spirit will be an asset as

an adult.

Time Out: For Toddlers

Time-out involves placing your child in an isolated place such as a crib or
playpen for a short period following each occurrence of a negative or an
unacceptable behavior. This procedure has been effective in reducing problem
behaviors such as hitting and other aggressive acts, failure to follow directions,
and generally being out of control. Parents have found that this works much

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